I was just getting out of an ugly divorce in 2007.
One that left me completely crushed and made me feel totally worthless.
I didn't see myself the way God saw me - the beauty he saw in me.
I saw a used young woman, tossed aside, unwanted.
I didn't see what man (who was worth dating, in my eyes) would want to date me, also.
I
wasn't set on dating anyone any time soon, but even so, I found myself
in conversation with my father one day about future dating. He told me
to write a list. He said that I needed to write things that I wanted in
a husband, and things that I needed in a husband. He told me to write
it out before I met anyone and had anyone specific in mind. (I wrote a
list that included 27 things, sometime early 2008.) He also told me
that he really felt like I shouldn't seriously date for 2 years - that I
needed two years to really process everything and heal my wounds from
my prior relationship. I remember telling dad that I felt like it would
be more like one year before I should consider seriously dating
someone.
This was August 2007.
August
22nd, 2008, I found myself at a wedding rehearsal for one of my best
friends, Gemma, and her soon to be husband, Zach. I had arrived early
to the church, and walked next door to Zach's parents house in search of
anyone. I found Zach and together he and I walked out of the house and
back to the church to find the rest of the wedding party (I was a
bridesmaid). As he and I walked out and chatted, I saw that a young man
had just gotten out of his car and was standing in the parking lot of
the church. Zach waved hello as we approached him. I was introduced to
Skyler, one of Zach's groomsmen and good buddy's from college. I
noticed an incredibly cute dimple that ran deep the minute he smiled at
me and shook my hand.
As
the rest of the groomsmen arrived, I introduced myself to them, but none
caught my attention like Skyler did. I was completely smitten with the
"cute boy with the dimple". As the rehearsal went on, Gemma told the
wedding party that she didn't care who walked with whom - and
immediately my heart skipped. I was going to ask Skyler to walk with
me....
And then Gemma
dropped the bomb and added, "except, I thought Kayla could walk with
Zach's little brother." (Who was 16 and had braces.) My stomach sank.
Skyler got paired up with another girl, and I began to get a little jealous of them.
After
rehearsal and dinner at the church, the wedding party finished up some
odds and ends of decor. Skyler meandered outside to where a few younger
kids were shooting hoops.
I casually followed him outside and observed him pick up the ball and shoot about 10 times, perhaps making one of those baskets.
I, jokingly, commented that "he kinda sucked at basketball".
That caught his attention.
He
asked me to join in and we played together and laughed with the younger
kids for a while before saying goodnight and parting ways.
As wedding days go, the whole day before the wedding started was a frantic blur.
It wasn't until just before the wedding that I saw Skyler again.
I
(never one to doddle and take time putting on make-up or doing hair
fancy), was early out of the bathroom and was asked to help the men put
on their boutonnieres. I was happy to oblige and I made sure to
"re-adjust" Skyler's bout about 3 times before I let him go.
The wedding went beautifully.
After the wedding, the wedding party gathered for some photos.
By chance, I was standing next to Skyler as the photographer grouped us in and had us all put our arms around each other.
I still remember standing there in that field, with Skyler's arm draped over my shoulder, with his fingers grasping my arm.
It felt comfortable. I smiled truer than just to say "cheese" for a few snapshots.
The
reception had contra dancing - which was similar to country/square
dancing. My favorite definition of it, is that by the end of the dance,
everyone has danced with everyone. I so badly wanted to ask Skyler to
be my partner. Before I had the opportunity, one of Skyler's friends
(whom I had met and was hanging around with also) asked me to dance.
Each time we stepped off the floor, I had intentions of asking Skyler to
be my partner next.
And each time I started to make my way over to Skyler, his friend would step in and ask me if I was ready to head back out.
Thankfully, as the nature of the dance, Skyler and I still danced together a fair amount of the night.
This
is the first photo I have of us together (although unfortunately
blurry). My dad snapped this photo, as Skyler and I took a punch break
from dancing!
At
the end of the night, after the guests had all left and everything was
getting packed up, Skyler and his friends and I were saying goodbyes
when Skyler asked if I had ever been surfing and if I'd like to join
them the next day. As much as it killed me to turn down his offer to
hang out again, I had to say no because my niece was having her birthday
party the following day. We made plans for the evening after that to
get together and watch a movie all together.
I could barely contain my excitement as I impatiently waited the whole next two days ...
*************
He agreed to do this for me. Later, he told me that he thought I was just being a "girl" and trying to find another reason to see him. Although that's a likely story, I really had figured he didn't like me at all, and my interest was in getting my pillow back.
We
started talking more in depth and Skyler told me all about what he had
done for the past 4 years since we had graduated high school. He had
gone to Bible school in upstate New York, had traveled to Mexico,
Romania twice, Israel, Jordan and had lived in Brazil for 5 months. He
told me all about the crazy things he had encountered and all of his
adventures.
Then he turned and asked me what I had been up to for the last four years.
I smiled, unsure what to answer and what to share about my past.
I asked him, "how much do you want to know?"
To which, he replied, "I want to know everything!"
"Okaaaaay." I was prepared to tell him everything. "I actually got married when I was 19, and we got divorced when I was 21."
Skyler laughed.
I wasn't sure what to think of his reaction. No one has ever laughed when I said I got divorced.
He laughed because he does that when he doesn't know what to say, which I learned later.
I proceeded to tell him about the relationship I had, the divorce, and that it was only a year prior and that I was living with my parents again and working a full time job as a Project Coordinator at a home building company and part time at Blockbuster, just to keep me occupied.
We continued conversation for a half hour or so, and I realized I was getting hungry.
Being a "go after what you want" kind of lady (even though what I desperately wanted was someone to pursue me), I was just about to ask Skyler if he wanted to join me for dinner somewhere and continue talking, when I felt a nudge from God. I felt Him tell me, "just wait, everything is going to be okay; let him ask you."
It was literally about 2 minutes later when Skyler pulled out his phone, checked the time, and asked, "are you getting hungry? My family's going to a pig roast, want to come?"
Unsure what a pig roast was, I gladly accepted his offer - just because I wanted more time to hang out. I left my car at the park and we drove together in his car out to a farm in West Salem. We had a feast of food, enjoyed horse shoes and I met his younger brother and his parents. We all had a great time at the pig roast. When it was time to leave, I remember his mom gave me a big hug and told me how nice it was to meet me.
(Here's
us at the pig roast! Sky's mom snapped this of us. I promise we were
happier than we look! ;) A picture of a picture...poor quality!)
Skyler drove me back to the park to drop me off at my car. He put his car in park but we continued to talk - for three hours! Finally at midnight, we said goodnight and parted ways. Before we said goodbye, we agreed to try and meet up again sometime that week...
***********
We had agreed to meet up once that following week, but after the first meeting, we ended up enjoying our time together so much that we ended up meeting up twice. Both times we walked. The first night, we walked around Bush Park and downtown Salem for a few hours and talked about anything and everything. We talked about our families, what we value, what we thought about future family and kids. Skyler told me that he wanted his own football team. I laughed and said, "good luck to your wife!" It wasn't too long after that I realized he wasn't joking.
We layed down in the big field in Bush Park to star gaze. Skyler took his jacket off and threw it on the ground for me to lay on. We watched for shooting stars and talked about our dreams and goals for the future.
A couple days later, we went to a park in Skyler's hometown and walked all around and through the woods on the trails. We sat by the river and Skyler skipped rocks while I "kerplunked" them in. We were both enjoying each others' company so much and loved learning about each other. I was completely smitten. He was a total gentleman and asked me question after question, seeking to know me deeper.
At the same spot on the river - taking some wedding photos a year later.
We were going to see my brother's band, Falling Up, in concert that Friday. Skyler called me the day before and told me he couldn't go with me to the show after-all, because he remembered his brother started playing football again and had a game that night, and he had made a promise to his brother that he was going to go to all of his games. I remember that I didn't feel disappointed like I normally would have. Instead, I told him that it was not a problem and that it was great to keep his promises. I remember thinking, "Wow God. That's not normally how I would've felt in that situation!" I felt like God was in control of my responses and feelings, and I thought, "wow, I've never been this cool!" Skyler later told me that he was blown away by how I handled the situation and my ease about it.
A couple days later, it was Sunday again.
Skyler texted me mid-day and asked if I was going to be around again.
I wasn't, but I told him that I was. :)
If he wanted to hang out again, I was going to make it happen.
We met at the park in Skyler's hometown again. We walked down to the river and sat to talk. Before we realized it, darkness fell. We saw headlights and heard a four-wheeler come up behind us. It was the park caretaker. He had seen Skyler's car in the parking lot and came to find us. He told us the park was closed and we needed to leave. He drove off and left Skyler and I in complete blackness - with the exception of the bright moon. As we walked the mile through the woods back to our car, I slipped my hand through his arm so he could guide me.
Walking through the same park with our wedding party.
We drove to the nearby elementary school (where Skyler had attended) and lay out a blanket in the field to watch for more shooting stars.
As it got colder in the night, we threw the edges of the blanket over us and scooted closer and closer, until eventually we were laying shoulder to shoulder.
Like a sweet schoolboy, Skyler asked me if he could hold my hand.
All of our feelings towards each other flowed out then. He told me that I was an incredible girl and that he felt like he could be 100% himself around me.
I asked him how he felt about me already being married before.
He told me that He had prayed and thought about it a lot. He said, "I thought about if it should bother or alarm me, and this sounds bad, but I had to realized to that I just didn't care....Is that an okay thing to say?"
I told him "that's a perfect thing to say. Here's why: last October, I was struggling with low self esteem and felt depressed about being married already. I felt that I was used and not worth as much as someone who hadn't yet been married. God very clearly told me two things then - 1. That I had great worth. 2. That the next person I was going to marry is 'not going to care'." Exactly what God told me my next husband would say, Skyler said. Of course, I didn't say that exactly to Skyler at the time. I didn't want to scare the guy, after all. I told him something along the lines of "the next guy I'm going to be with" isn't going to care. :)
We sat on the blanket, wrapped our arms around each other, held on and just looked at the stars for an incredibly long time. We didn't say a word for a while. I had an overwhelming feeling that I could shake. Over and over again in my head, I felt "we found each other. We've finally actually found each other." We stayed up and talked until really early that morning. It wasn't even late at night anymore. It had passed to early morning. 5:30 am to be exact.
We weren't able to talk again until two days later, that Tuesday night. We talked on the phone for 3 hours that night. I asked Skyler what we were. He said, "well, I'm ready to establish a relationship with you and be committed to you. Not to scare you, but when I asked you to hold your hand the other night, that was me saying that I was ready to be committed to you for life." We talked about dating with intentions of marriage. I couldn't believe that here was this guy, who I knew was the one I was to marry, who was so "avoid girlfriend's" for a few years, was telling me that he wanted to marry me after officially dating for only 2 days!!
We decided to meet again the next day, Wednesday, at Bush Park again. While we walked and talked, I asked Skyler, "So, we're in a relationship. What exactly does that mean to you?" Skyler told me, "It means I'm committed to you and you only." He asked again if that was an okay answer, since he didn't really know how else to explain it. Again, I told him it was exactly what I needed to hear. All year, since my divorce, the thing I prayed for everyday was for God to bring me into a relationship with someone who was just as committed to me as I was to them.
It was that night at the park that I decided to pull out the list that my dad had made me write a year earlier. The list of 27 things that I wanted and needed in a husband. It took me to that point - 2 and 1/2 weeks, to realize that Skyler had all of the things on that list. Every. Single. One. I couldn't believe it. We sat under an old oak tree in Bush Park, and I handed him the list, telling him that it was something very important to me, and something that I could see that he had.
**********
The couple days after the wedding s.l.o.w.l.y passed and it felt like forever before I was going to see Skyler again.
He
had a few friends staying with him, who had flown in from NYC for Zach
& Gemma's wedding. Since I was working a part-time job at
Blockbuster at the time, I picked up a couple movies that I had heard
were good and brought them to Skyler's apartment. Skyler's friends sat
in the two chairs and one on the futon in the living room, so I picked
the open spot on the opposite side of the futon. Skyler walked in,
looked around, and I said, "there's plenty of room here on the couch by
us!" and he barely glanced at me and said "no thanks, I'll sit on the
floor."
The whole two movies, I was confused.
By our interactions, I had thought maybe Skyler liked me as well, but after that comment, I really didn't know what to think.
(Later Skyler admitted that he thought his friend, who I had danced with at the wedding and who I was sitting by on the couch, and I liked each other. He didn't want to "get in between us". He had been in such an "avoid girlfriend's" mode for the last few years, that he didn't want to admit his feelings for me, even to himself. He also admitted later that he was dying for John to NOT ask me to dance for one dance at the wedding!)
By our interactions, I had thought maybe Skyler liked me as well, but after that comment, I really didn't know what to think.
(Later Skyler admitted that he thought his friend, who I had danced with at the wedding and who I was sitting by on the couch, and I liked each other. He didn't want to "get in between us". He had been in such an "avoid girlfriend's" mode for the last few years, that he didn't want to admit his feelings for me, even to himself. He also admitted later that he was dying for John to NOT ask me to dance for one dance at the wedding!)
The two movies
slowly went by, and as they ended (figuring Skyler just invited me over
to be nice and didn't really have any interest in me), I quickly told
him thanks for inviting me over and I was going to head out then, and
maybe I'd see them around some time. Skyler immediately jumped up from
the floor and said, "I'll walk you out!" I was a little taken back at
his enthusiasm, but was glad for the escort to my car - which was all
the way out of the complex and on the side of the road. We walked and
chatted and made it all the way out to my car. As soon as we were out
there, I realized I left my food inside Skyler's apartment. We walked
back together, and he offered to run inside and grab it. To my complete
shock, he said he'd walk me back out to my car. I figured he
would think "well, once is enough" and not want to walk me out again.
As we walked, he mentioned seeing Zach the next day, before they headed
out to their month long honeymoon, and I excitedly asked Skyler if he
could do me a favor. In the rush of the wedding prep, I had left my
favorite sweatshirt and my pillow at their apartment (which, if you know
me, you know how supremely important my pillow is. I do not like to
sleep with anyone else's pillow. I have extreme attachments to my own.
:)), and I asked if Skyler might be able to grab those for me and I
would pick them up from him later.
He agreed to do this for me. Later, he told me that he thought I was just being a "girl" and trying to find another reason to see him. Although that's a likely story, I really had figured he didn't like me at all, and my interest was in getting my pillow back.
We agreed to meet up a few days later.
It
was Sunday. In church that morning, I had an overwhelming feeling of
loneliness. That weekend was one year since my ex-husband and I had
separated. And all weekend, I couldn't stop singing the song, "You take
my mourning and turn it into dancing, you take my sadness and turn it
into joy." I sang it over and over and over in my head. As I was in
church that morning, I was up front during worship and a vision came to
me:
I was in bed in my old house that I had shared with my ex. It was nighttime. I was laying all the way at the edge of the bed, facing the closet. The other side of the bed was empty, but you could see that someone had been there - you could see the impression on that side of the bed, and the blankets were all pulled back and rumpled. I felt lonely and was weeping and called out to God in the darkness to give me a companion. He said to me, "turn around". I rolled over and saw Him laying there next to me in bed. He said, "you don't need to feel lonely. I'm always here."
Right after I had this vision, someone came up to me (I'm not sure who, because I had my eyes closed), put their hand on my shoulder and told me "God's taking your mourning and turning it into dancing." And then she walked away. I was so blessed by church that morning. I really felt that God was telling me that he was ending that period of loneliness and sadness in my life and to be hopeful for this new season of joy and laughter.
Later that Sunday afternoon, I had texted Skyler to tell him I was back in Salem (at the time, I was living in Albany), and asked if he was able to meet me at the waterfront park. He said he wasn't doing anything and would love to. We met up and I got my beloved pillow back. Skyler didn't seem in any hurry to go, and I didn't have any prior plans, so I asked him if he would want to toss a football around with me.
I was in bed in my old house that I had shared with my ex. It was nighttime. I was laying all the way at the edge of the bed, facing the closet. The other side of the bed was empty, but you could see that someone had been there - you could see the impression on that side of the bed, and the blankets were all pulled back and rumpled. I felt lonely and was weeping and called out to God in the darkness to give me a companion. He said to me, "turn around". I rolled over and saw Him laying there next to me in bed. He said, "you don't need to feel lonely. I'm always here."
Right after I had this vision, someone came up to me (I'm not sure who, because I had my eyes closed), put their hand on my shoulder and told me "God's taking your mourning and turning it into dancing." And then she walked away. I was so blessed by church that morning. I really felt that God was telling me that he was ending that period of loneliness and sadness in my life and to be hopeful for this new season of joy and laughter.
Later that Sunday afternoon, I had texted Skyler to tell him I was back in Salem (at the time, I was living in Albany), and asked if he was able to meet me at the waterfront park. He said he wasn't doing anything and would love to. We met up and I got my beloved pillow back. Skyler didn't seem in any hurry to go, and I didn't have any prior plans, so I asked him if he would want to toss a football around with me.
We
threw the football back and forth for about an hour, just asking each
other questions and getting to know each other better. He eventually
asked me about my siblings, and I told him I had a brother and sister.
He asked what they do for a living and I said my sister was a stay at
home mom and my brother played for a Christian rock band and was
touring. He asked what band and when I replied, "Falling Up", he
started laughing. He said, "no way! That's one of my favorite bands!"
He then suggested that we go sit down on a bench to talk more.
Then he turned and asked me what I had been up to for the last four years.
I smiled, unsure what to answer and what to share about my past.
I asked him, "how much do you want to know?"
To which, he replied, "I want to know everything!"
"Okaaaaay." I was prepared to tell him everything. "I actually got married when I was 19, and we got divorced when I was 21."
Skyler laughed.
I wasn't sure what to think of his reaction. No one has ever laughed when I said I got divorced.
He laughed because he does that when he doesn't know what to say, which I learned later.
I proceeded to tell him about the relationship I had, the divorce, and that it was only a year prior and that I was living with my parents again and working a full time job as a Project Coordinator at a home building company and part time at Blockbuster, just to keep me occupied.
We continued conversation for a half hour or so, and I realized I was getting hungry.
Being a "go after what you want" kind of lady (even though what I desperately wanted was someone to pursue me), I was just about to ask Skyler if he wanted to join me for dinner somewhere and continue talking, when I felt a nudge from God. I felt Him tell me, "just wait, everything is going to be okay; let him ask you."
It was literally about 2 minutes later when Skyler pulled out his phone, checked the time, and asked, "are you getting hungry? My family's going to a pig roast, want to come?"
Unsure what a pig roast was, I gladly accepted his offer - just because I wanted more time to hang out. I left my car at the park and we drove together in his car out to a farm in West Salem. We had a feast of food, enjoyed horse shoes and I met his younger brother and his parents. We all had a great time at the pig roast. When it was time to leave, I remember his mom gave me a big hug and told me how nice it was to meet me.
Skyler drove me back to the park to drop me off at my car. He put his car in park but we continued to talk - for three hours! Finally at midnight, we said goodnight and parted ways. Before we said goodbye, we agreed to try and meet up again sometime that week...
***********
We had agreed to meet up once that following week, but after the first meeting, we ended up enjoying our time together so much that we ended up meeting up twice. Both times we walked. The first night, we walked around Bush Park and downtown Salem for a few hours and talked about anything and everything. We talked about our families, what we value, what we thought about future family and kids. Skyler told me that he wanted his own football team. I laughed and said, "good luck to your wife!" It wasn't too long after that I realized he wasn't joking.
We layed down in the big field in Bush Park to star gaze. Skyler took his jacket off and threw it on the ground for me to lay on. We watched for shooting stars and talked about our dreams and goals for the future.
A couple days later, we went to a park in Skyler's hometown and walked all around and through the woods on the trails. We sat by the river and Skyler skipped rocks while I "kerplunked" them in. We were both enjoying each others' company so much and loved learning about each other. I was completely smitten. He was a total gentleman and asked me question after question, seeking to know me deeper.
We were going to see my brother's band, Falling Up, in concert that Friday. Skyler called me the day before and told me he couldn't go with me to the show after-all, because he remembered his brother started playing football again and had a game that night, and he had made a promise to his brother that he was going to go to all of his games. I remember that I didn't feel disappointed like I normally would have. Instead, I told him that it was not a problem and that it was great to keep his promises. I remember thinking, "Wow God. That's not normally how I would've felt in that situation!" I felt like God was in control of my responses and feelings, and I thought, "wow, I've never been this cool!" Skyler later told me that he was blown away by how I handled the situation and my ease about it.
A couple days later, it was Sunday again.
Skyler texted me mid-day and asked if I was going to be around again.
I wasn't, but I told him that I was. :)
If he wanted to hang out again, I was going to make it happen.
We met at the park in Skyler's hometown again. We walked down to the river and sat to talk. Before we realized it, darkness fell. We saw headlights and heard a four-wheeler come up behind us. It was the park caretaker. He had seen Skyler's car in the parking lot and came to find us. He told us the park was closed and we needed to leave. He drove off and left Skyler and I in complete blackness - with the exception of the bright moon. As we walked the mile through the woods back to our car, I slipped my hand through his arm so he could guide me.
We drove to the nearby elementary school (where Skyler had attended) and lay out a blanket in the field to watch for more shooting stars.
As it got colder in the night, we threw the edges of the blanket over us and scooted closer and closer, until eventually we were laying shoulder to shoulder.
Like a sweet schoolboy, Skyler asked me if he could hold my hand.
All of our feelings towards each other flowed out then. He told me that I was an incredible girl and that he felt like he could be 100% himself around me.
I asked him how he felt about me already being married before.
He told me that He had prayed and thought about it a lot. He said, "I thought about if it should bother or alarm me, and this sounds bad, but I had to realized to that I just didn't care....Is that an okay thing to say?"
I told him "that's a perfect thing to say. Here's why: last October, I was struggling with low self esteem and felt depressed about being married already. I felt that I was used and not worth as much as someone who hadn't yet been married. God very clearly told me two things then - 1. That I had great worth. 2. That the next person I was going to marry is 'not going to care'." Exactly what God told me my next husband would say, Skyler said. Of course, I didn't say that exactly to Skyler at the time. I didn't want to scare the guy, after all. I told him something along the lines of "the next guy I'm going to be with" isn't going to care. :)
We sat on the blanket, wrapped our arms around each other, held on and just looked at the stars for an incredibly long time. We didn't say a word for a while. I had an overwhelming feeling that I could shake. Over and over again in my head, I felt "we found each other. We've finally actually found each other." We stayed up and talked until really early that morning. It wasn't even late at night anymore. It had passed to early morning. 5:30 am to be exact.
We weren't able to talk again until two days later, that Tuesday night. We talked on the phone for 3 hours that night. I asked Skyler what we were. He said, "well, I'm ready to establish a relationship with you and be committed to you. Not to scare you, but when I asked you to hold your hand the other night, that was me saying that I was ready to be committed to you for life." We talked about dating with intentions of marriage. I couldn't believe that here was this guy, who I knew was the one I was to marry, who was so "avoid girlfriend's" for a few years, was telling me that he wanted to marry me after officially dating for only 2 days!!
We decided to meet again the next day, Wednesday, at Bush Park again. While we walked and talked, I asked Skyler, "So, we're in a relationship. What exactly does that mean to you?" Skyler told me, "It means I'm committed to you and you only." He asked again if that was an okay answer, since he didn't really know how else to explain it. Again, I told him it was exactly what I needed to hear. All year, since my divorce, the thing I prayed for everyday was for God to bring me into a relationship with someone who was just as committed to me as I was to them.
It was that night at the park that I decided to pull out the list that my dad had made me write a year earlier. The list of 27 things that I wanted and needed in a husband. It took me to that point - 2 and 1/2 weeks, to realize that Skyler had all of the things on that list. Every. Single. One. I couldn't believe it. We sat under an old oak tree in Bush Park, and I handed him the list, telling him that it was something very important to me, and something that I could see that he had.
**********
Those few days after we started
dating are a precious memory for me. I hope I'll always remember how
the breeze blew my hair and the sun felt on my back that summer evening
when Skyler and I sat under the big oak tree. We confided in each other
that we both knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that we were
each others' One. We were two halves. However, we knew we had to keep
the depth of our relationship under wraps for a while. This was one of
the hardest things ever, as all I really wanted to do was shout from the
rooftops that we had found each other! I was leery, though. Leery of
what others would think. I didn't want people to label me as the girl
who was making a quick rebound from my divorce or being the crazy girl
who talks about marrying the dude she met two weeks ago.
So we kept it secret. But we knew. We were confident. So we secretly started wedding planning - just a little bit. A wedding date was set for August 22nd, 2009 - exactly one year after we had met.
We spent all of our free time (almost every night) together, getting to know each other, spending time with our families, friends, helping serve at youth retreats together.
Finally in February 2009, 5 months after we met and started dating, we asked my parents to join us for dinner so we could talk about marriage. Instead of the traditional "man asking the girl's father" for her hand in marriage, I wanted my mom and myself to be a part of the conversation, since I was very much a part of the topic! We wanted to discuss all together our intentions for marriage with my parents.
I remember suggesting my favorite Chinese buffet. Skyler hadn't ever been there before - and as much as that guy can eat - he barely touched his plate. He told me later that he was too nervous to eat anything. The conversation with my parents went well and they gave us their blessing.
I told Skyler early into our relationship that I wanted at least 6 months to publicly plan the wedding. I am a planning type girl and wanted 6 months of time to do it in! After we had the talk with my parents in February, I thought Skyler had the green light to go ahead and ask me and make it official. I was pretty impatient when Valentine's Day rolled around and there was no sign of a ring. It'd been a week after we talked to my parents already, for goodness sake! What was the hold up?!
I honestly don't know how Skyler didn't call it off during that month and half between talking to my parents and actually proposing! ;) I'm not gonna lie - I was a downright brat about it. I threw a fit that he wasn't letting me have my 6 months to publicly plan - and I even threatened pushing the wedding back a whole year! (It wasn't my prettiest time. I'm not proud of it.)
And Skyler, bless his heart, was just waiting for a day with decent weather so that he could execute the most beautiful proposal that I could've ever asked for. He patiently put up with me and my impatient antics. He had a ring since December even - he wasn't waiting on anything but the sunshine. . . .
And then, the big day came around.
It was Thursday, March 26th, 2009 and I had just gotten off of work at 4:00 pm. Skyler had told me earlier in the day that he had gotten a big tip at work and wanted to take me out for dinner downtown. Right as I was starting to drive downtown, Skyler texted me and said that he had run into an old buddy and that he was at a coffee shop downtown, the Governor's Cup, waiting for me inside. I parked near the coffee shop and walked inside. I look all around and don't see him anywhere. The guy at the counter asks if he can help me, and I tell him, "No, I was looking for someone but I don't see him here", and start towards the door. I hear a faint "Excuse me?", but figure it's for someone else and don't turn around. Then a louder, "Excuse me, miss?" I turn around and a card is thrust into my hands. I look down and see 'Kayla Miller' on the envelope. I look back up and the guy who handed to me was no where to be seen. As I open the envelope and pull out the card, I see it has Skyler's handwriting on it. The card read: "This card should find you a bit confused; but don't worry, the adventure is about to begin. A short distance from here is a park. In this park contains a special bench that faces out towards the river. Go there now! (please)."
The envelope also had a puzzle piece in it, but I was instructed to not read it yet. I knew exactly what bench he was talking about; it was at the Riverfront park from the first day we really hung out and tossed a football around and we sat there and talked for a few hours before going to a pig roast with his family. I drove to the park and walked over to the bench. Sitting on the exact bench we had sat on was a plate covered by a bowl, another envelope with my name on it and a round river rock holding it down. I open the card and it read: "Here lies the place where we first started to get to know each other. It was a nice summer afternoon that day. I remember playing catch with a football with you and thinking you were a pretty cool girl. After about 30 minutes, we headed to this bench and sat down. As we continued to talk, I knew there was something special about you. After a while, I decided to ask you to the pig roast that evening. In memory of our kind of 1st date, I have here some bacon for you. I know it's not prepared the same way that the pig was prepared that night, but please eat a piece or two and pretend its warm! ....so after the pig roast was over, we returned back to the parking lot. Go there now! Use the key to get in, passenger side please! (Leave the platter, my people will take care of it.)"
Inside the envelope was another puzzle piece and a key to his car. I walked over to the parking lot, found his car and got in the passenger side. I opened up my next envelope, held under another river rock and of course with another puzzle piece. He had written, "Please take a seat and get comfortable. Notice that the driver's seat belt is buckled? I guess I was thinking we were going to call it a quick night but we soon realized that we were enjoying our conversation more and more (I hope you were, cause I know I was!) During that conversation with you, I really began to realize what an incredible person you were. I was amazed that the Lord had caused our paths to cross! Put the key into the ignition and turn it until you hear something. Do that now before you read any more."
I put in the key, turned it, and in a few moments music from my brother's band, Falling Up, started playing out of the speakers. I smiled and turned the card over to read the back of it. "No way! I can't believe your brother plays for one of my favorite bands! haha! How funny that was to find that out that night. Alright babe, from here I want you to head to the other park in which we have walked around in a lot! Go to the part of the grassy area where we laid down and stared into space."
Me in Bush Park, reading his note.
He was talking about the grassy field in Bush Park where he had laid down his jacket for me to lay on as we watched for shooting stars. I drove to the park and walked to the grassy field. There, where we had laid down in the field, was his jacket that he had laid out for me that night. I picked it up and underneath was a card, a portable CD player, and another river rock. I opened the envelope and read the card. "Can I offer you my jacket to lie on? Haha. We had some good walks in this park and will continue to have them. I really enjoyed those first Bush Park conversations as we were getting to know each other and talked until late. Push play on the CD player. Enjoy what you hear and keep listening as you make your way to the next destination. Walk down to the lower field where we sat underneath an oak tree."
I put on the headphones and started walking towards the oak tree. Soon, the sounds of a song by Thrice, called 'A Song for Milly Michaelson' started playing, which he had told me way early on was a song that made him think of me.
I listened joyfully as I walked down to the lower field.
There, hanging in the old oak tree was rope in the shape of a heart. Hanging in the middle was my next card. In this card, he told me the different qualities that he was always looking for in a woman, and that he saw them in me. This was the same old tree which we sat under, when I gave Skyler my list of 27 things I needed and wanted in a husband.
Then, he told me to head north to a park where he skipped stones (hence all the river rocks he had been leaving for me) at the river and we got in trouble by the park staff for being there after dark. He was talking about Keizer Rapids park, where we hung out the night we started dating.
I made my way all the way through the forest and down to the river. I stood on the bank where we had been, but didn't see anything immediately. I looked a little longer and noticed something floating in the river upstream a bit. I walked over and saw a basket floating, attached to a string on a stick which was stuck in the ground on the bank. I pulled the basket towards shore and in it was my next envelope. He told me to skip my rocks that he had gathered for me (I think that was a joke, because he knows I can't skip rocks. I can only 'kerplunk' them. . .) He also said that he enjoyed our walk there that night and he was sorry he couldn't accompany me back. He directed me to my next location: the elementary school where we went to lay under the stars, after we got kicked out of Keizer Rapids for being there after it closed at dusk.
As I drove up to the elementary school, I looked to the grassy spot where we had been laying and saw a blanket laying out. I smiled and made a bee line to the blanket. On it was my final envelope. He welcomed me to the place where our relationship had began and told me to go ahead and put together the puzzle, and finally read the back of the pieces and follow directions carefully. I put the puzzle together, which had our picture on one side of it. On the backside, he had written "I can't play footsie with you if your shoes are on!" (That night, laying on the blanket, he rubbed his foot against mine all night, but claims he doesn't remember doing that). "Take your shoes off, stand up, close your eyes and count to 15." I took my shoes off, stood up, and started counting silently.
Suddenly, I heard him running to me from behind. I turned around and we embraced and he covered me in kisses. He told me he was ready to spend the rest of his life with me, got on one knee and asked if I'd marry him. I said, "yes, of course!" and we hugged and hugged.
So we kept it secret. But we knew. We were confident. So we secretly started wedding planning - just a little bit. A wedding date was set for August 22nd, 2009 - exactly one year after we had met.
We spent all of our free time (almost every night) together, getting to know each other, spending time with our families, friends, helping serve at youth retreats together.
Finally in February 2009, 5 months after we met and started dating, we asked my parents to join us for dinner so we could talk about marriage. Instead of the traditional "man asking the girl's father" for her hand in marriage, I wanted my mom and myself to be a part of the conversation, since I was very much a part of the topic! We wanted to discuss all together our intentions for marriage with my parents.
I remember suggesting my favorite Chinese buffet. Skyler hadn't ever been there before - and as much as that guy can eat - he barely touched his plate. He told me later that he was too nervous to eat anything. The conversation with my parents went well and they gave us their blessing.
I told Skyler early into our relationship that I wanted at least 6 months to publicly plan the wedding. I am a planning type girl and wanted 6 months of time to do it in! After we had the talk with my parents in February, I thought Skyler had the green light to go ahead and ask me and make it official. I was pretty impatient when Valentine's Day rolled around and there was no sign of a ring. It'd been a week after we talked to my parents already, for goodness sake! What was the hold up?!
I honestly don't know how Skyler didn't call it off during that month and half between talking to my parents and actually proposing! ;) I'm not gonna lie - I was a downright brat about it. I threw a fit that he wasn't letting me have my 6 months to publicly plan - and I even threatened pushing the wedding back a whole year! (It wasn't my prettiest time. I'm not proud of it.)
And Skyler, bless his heart, was just waiting for a day with decent weather so that he could execute the most beautiful proposal that I could've ever asked for. He patiently put up with me and my impatient antics. He had a ring since December even - he wasn't waiting on anything but the sunshine. . . .
And then, the big day came around.
It was Thursday, March 26th, 2009 and I had just gotten off of work at 4:00 pm. Skyler had told me earlier in the day that he had gotten a big tip at work and wanted to take me out for dinner downtown. Right as I was starting to drive downtown, Skyler texted me and said that he had run into an old buddy and that he was at a coffee shop downtown, the Governor's Cup, waiting for me inside. I parked near the coffee shop and walked inside. I look all around and don't see him anywhere. The guy at the counter asks if he can help me, and I tell him, "No, I was looking for someone but I don't see him here", and start towards the door. I hear a faint "Excuse me?", but figure it's for someone else and don't turn around. Then a louder, "Excuse me, miss?" I turn around and a card is thrust into my hands. I look down and see 'Kayla Miller' on the envelope. I look back up and the guy who handed to me was no where to be seen. As I open the envelope and pull out the card, I see it has Skyler's handwriting on it. The card read: "This card should find you a bit confused; but don't worry, the adventure is about to begin. A short distance from here is a park. In this park contains a special bench that faces out towards the river. Go there now! (please)."
The envelope also had a puzzle piece in it, but I was instructed to not read it yet. I knew exactly what bench he was talking about; it was at the Riverfront park from the first day we really hung out and tossed a football around and we sat there and talked for a few hours before going to a pig roast with his family. I drove to the park and walked over to the bench. Sitting on the exact bench we had sat on was a plate covered by a bowl, another envelope with my name on it and a round river rock holding it down. I open the card and it read: "Here lies the place where we first started to get to know each other. It was a nice summer afternoon that day. I remember playing catch with a football with you and thinking you were a pretty cool girl. After about 30 minutes, we headed to this bench and sat down. As we continued to talk, I knew there was something special about you. After a while, I decided to ask you to the pig roast that evening. In memory of our kind of 1st date, I have here some bacon for you. I know it's not prepared the same way that the pig was prepared that night, but please eat a piece or two and pretend its warm! ....so after the pig roast was over, we returned back to the parking lot. Go there now! Use the key to get in, passenger side please! (Leave the platter, my people will take care of it.)"
Inside the envelope was another puzzle piece and a key to his car. I walked over to the parking lot, found his car and got in the passenger side. I opened up my next envelope, held under another river rock and of course with another puzzle piece. He had written, "Please take a seat and get comfortable. Notice that the driver's seat belt is buckled? I guess I was thinking we were going to call it a quick night but we soon realized that we were enjoying our conversation more and more (I hope you were, cause I know I was!) During that conversation with you, I really began to realize what an incredible person you were. I was amazed that the Lord had caused our paths to cross! Put the key into the ignition and turn it until you hear something. Do that now before you read any more."
I put in the key, turned it, and in a few moments music from my brother's band, Falling Up, started playing out of the speakers. I smiled and turned the card over to read the back of it. "No way! I can't believe your brother plays for one of my favorite bands! haha! How funny that was to find that out that night. Alright babe, from here I want you to head to the other park in which we have walked around in a lot! Go to the part of the grassy area where we laid down and stared into space."
He was talking about the grassy field in Bush Park where he had laid down his jacket for me to lay on as we watched for shooting stars. I drove to the park and walked to the grassy field. There, where we had laid down in the field, was his jacket that he had laid out for me that night. I picked it up and underneath was a card, a portable CD player, and another river rock. I opened the envelope and read the card. "Can I offer you my jacket to lie on? Haha. We had some good walks in this park and will continue to have them. I really enjoyed those first Bush Park conversations as we were getting to know each other and talked until late. Push play on the CD player. Enjoy what you hear and keep listening as you make your way to the next destination. Walk down to the lower field where we sat underneath an oak tree."
I put on the headphones and started walking towards the oak tree. Soon, the sounds of a song by Thrice, called 'A Song for Milly Michaelson' started playing, which he had told me way early on was a song that made him think of me.
I listened joyfully as I walked down to the lower field.
There, hanging in the old oak tree was rope in the shape of a heart. Hanging in the middle was my next card. In this card, he told me the different qualities that he was always looking for in a woman, and that he saw them in me. This was the same old tree which we sat under, when I gave Skyler my list of 27 things I needed and wanted in a husband.
Then, he told me to head north to a park where he skipped stones (hence all the river rocks he had been leaving for me) at the river and we got in trouble by the park staff for being there after dark. He was talking about Keizer Rapids park, where we hung out the night we started dating.
I made my way all the way through the forest and down to the river. I stood on the bank where we had been, but didn't see anything immediately. I looked a little longer and noticed something floating in the river upstream a bit. I walked over and saw a basket floating, attached to a string on a stick which was stuck in the ground on the bank. I pulled the basket towards shore and in it was my next envelope. He told me to skip my rocks that he had gathered for me (I think that was a joke, because he knows I can't skip rocks. I can only 'kerplunk' them. . .) He also said that he enjoyed our walk there that night and he was sorry he couldn't accompany me back. He directed me to my next location: the elementary school where we went to lay under the stars, after we got kicked out of Keizer Rapids for being there after it closed at dusk.
As I drove up to the elementary school, I looked to the grassy spot where we had been laying and saw a blanket laying out. I smiled and made a bee line to the blanket. On it was my final envelope. He welcomed me to the place where our relationship had began and told me to go ahead and put together the puzzle, and finally read the back of the pieces and follow directions carefully. I put the puzzle together, which had our picture on one side of it. On the backside, he had written "I can't play footsie with you if your shoes are on!" (That night, laying on the blanket, he rubbed his foot against mine all night, but claims he doesn't remember doing that). "Take your shoes off, stand up, close your eyes and count to 15." I took my shoes off, stood up, and started counting silently.
Suddenly, I heard him running to me from behind. I turned around and we embraced and he covered me in kisses. He told me he was ready to spend the rest of his life with me, got on one knee and asked if I'd marry him. I said, "yes, of course!" and we hugged and hugged.
Of
course, my proposal story is my favorite one. I just feel so lucky to
have a guy that went all out for me to show me how he feels. Not only
did he plan and execute the elaborate proposal perfectly, he also
designed my ring for me! He designed and drew it out on paper, took it
into a jeweler and had them create it. I had told him that I wanted his
birth stone (aquamarine) instead of a diamond, so that I could think of
how lucky I am that he is alive every time I look at it.
He
added a couple diamonds to the sides, and the wedding band connects
like a puzzle piece to the engagement ring. I think he did a superb
job. :)
And
there you have it. Our love story. There's none other like it - it is
our own. And for that, I am thankful. I hope you've enjoyed reading
our journey!
This
part of the story ends with Skyler and I getting married as planned on
August 22nd, 2009, back in that same field as where we had met exactly
one year prior at our friends' wedding.
It was a beautiful and joyful day as we were joined as man and wife.
(You can check out our wedding details.)
Love, K
