Things I Loved About You...

Disclaimer: Even at the risk of sounding uber cat lady... I'm still going to write this post.  :)

A week ago today, I officially became "cat-less" for the first time in my entire life.  It's a weird feeling and I still look out to the back porch to look for a hungry Kitty meowing at the sliding door.   But there is no Kitty.  And for over a year, there has been no Scooter.

Last Tuesday, I returned Kitty to the animal shelter that I had originally rescued her from, exactly 6 years ago.  It was a really hard reality to grasp and took me a few months to come to terms with it.  Skyler never cared much for the cats, (especially in the beginning) because he came from a pet-less family.  He didn't understand why you would want a pet.  Over our first year of marriage, he came to love both cats as well, but shortly after Ezekiel was born, the cats were acting up and they both got the boot outdoors.

Last April, Scooter was mauled by a dog on our front porch.  I hadn't experienced pet loss for several years at that point and my heart definitely broke that morning that I found her.  For the last year, Kitty had been our only pet.  She was an outdoor kitty (sweet as can be), but never was a "normal" cat and had frequent hairballs and never did her business in the flower beds and covered it up like a normal cat... instead, she used the yard.  All over.  Skyler got frustrated with having to walk over the poo and then this summer with Zeek now walking, it was hard to not be able to trust that he wouldn't walk in poop.

I finally had to get to the point where I got over my guilt of having to return my "rescue" cat, because indeed, my son is more important than any pet.  Because these were special pets and part of the "family" for several years, I wanted to write down some funny memories of the cats before I forgot what their personalities were like...

Scooter, I loved:

• that I would call out "Scooter, shower!" or "Scooter, bathroom!" and you would run from wherever you were at to meet me in the bathroom.
• that sometimes you'd meet me in the bathroom before I could even call for you. :)
• that you would drink out of the fish bowl, but never had intentions of harming the fish.  You just wanted your fishy water.
• that you loved climbing high on furniture and the higher you could get, the better.
• the way that you snuggled with me in bed (under the covers) every night for the first few months of your life.
• how you would run to the door to greet me when I came in.
• your beautiful fur calico coat.  Your white parts of your fur always stayed perfectly white.
• how you were awesome at "soccer" with pinecones and little toy balls.  I loved how you would pick up the toys with your claws and fling it across the room and then run after it.
• that you would get so excited about the Christmas tree.  You LOVED drinking "pine water" from the tree base.  You'd dip your paw in and lick it off and repeat over and over again.
• how you learned that Daddy opening cans of food usually meant he'd be giving you tuna water.  You learned to cling to his feet any time he was opening a can, even if it was a can of olives...because you just never know when it's tuna. :)
• when you would curl up with me on the couch to sleep.  
• how your little belly hairs always were curly!
• how every time I leaned in to kiss your face, you'd put your paw up on my chin to block my kisses.
• how you'd always find funny places or positions to sleep in. 
• your sweet little meow and soft purr. 
• your spunky/funny personality.
• how you and Kitty would always jump up on and snuggle into my clean laundry as soon as I put it on my bed...

Scooter, my sweet precious kitty - I am so so sorry that you got mauled.  I laid in bed and bawled my eyes out that morning that I found you laying lifeless on our front porch.  I felt such guilt for making you an outdoor kitty just a few weeks before.  The only thing that made me feel any sort of better was the beautiful baby boy who was only 2 and 1/2 months old at the time, laying next to me in bed.   Even today, more than a year later, I am still quickly brought to tears when I think of you.   You were the most perfect cat and I loved you little Scooter-oo!

Your idea of lounging!

Kitty, I loved:

• how snuggly you are!  You always wanted to be on my lap (or anyone's lap), or at the very least, in the same room as me.  
• that you were the sweetest kitty - always wanting to lick and nuzzle up to me.
• that you showed no interest in cat toys; let it be known that nothing was going to entice you to get up from your lazy napping!! :)
• how when you were inside, you wanted outside so badly, but as soon as you were an outside cat, you wanted nothing more to come inside.
• how sweet you were when I was pregnant with Zeek.  You seemed to know there was life inside of me and you would constantly want to snuggle up on top of my belly or lick my belly.
• how incredibly soft and fluffy you were!  When I picked you out from the humane society, I picked you for that reason alone. 
• that you always wanted to sleep in boxes that were FAR too small for your "fluffy" body!  Somehow, you always managed to make yourself fit.
• how you loved looking out windows to see what was going on outside and would do anything it took to be able to get a good view of the outdoors.
• how you would snuggle up and nuzzle up to Ezekiel whenever he was outside to play with you.  You would press your head gently into him and he would giggle and bury his chubby hands into your fur.

Sleeping on me when I was pregnant with Zeek.

I love both of you, Scooter and Kitty, and can't believe I'm finally at the point in my life where I have neither of you.  Thanks for the years of laughter and joy and love that you brought to my life.  You've taught me that there's so much more to pets than just an animal to feed and clean up after.

Thank you for that.
Love,
K

18 Months

18 Months

Zeek Monkey,
On Friday the 27th, you officially turned 1 and a half years old!  I can't believe we're on the second half of the year now, growing closer and closer to two.  And before you turn two, you'll become a BIG BROTHER.  So so weird for mommy to think about!  I say it all the time, but you are growing and learning things exponentially now! 

• YOU GOT YOUR FIRST TOOTH!  We almost threw a party.  And we stopped making jokes about getting you baby dentures.  It's the bottom right tooth that came in first.
• You've discovered Blue's Clue's.  Mommy has searched high and low for cartoons that I don't mind you watching and that I don't mind having playing in the background because some cartoons are TERRIBLY annoying and I can't stand them for more than a couple minutes.  Blue's Clue's is your new favorite, which I am super pleased with.  It's mellow and not hyperactive, it's got a puppy (your favorite), the guy's voice isn't annoying to listen to and they "teach" you stuff... so I don't mind this cartoon.  So far, I only let you watch Blue's Clue's, Arthur, Veggietales and Dora.  I let you watch one cartoon while you eat breakfast, because then you will eat two eggs without getting distracted and throwing them on the ground and mommy can take a few minutes to herself for a cup of coffee and checking emails.
• You started running this month!  It has made mommy so much more exhausted.  I think it wouldn't be so bad if I weren't pregnant, but I'm definitely lacking excessive energy and you MOVE FAST.
• When you get a bump or stub your toe, you always hold it up, look at me and ask "muah? muah?"  Mommy's kisses really do make everything better! :)
• When daddy puts you on the rocking horse, he sings a "giddy up" tune...and that has stuck in your brain as what horsey's say.  Whenever we ask you what a horse says, you do your best to imitate the song daddy sings.  So funny!
• You started singing this month!  You LOVE to sing (and mommy loves to hear you)!  I got a little video of it the other day:

 

• You LOVE laughing!  You think your daddy is sooo funny.  Especially when you throw things (ball, particularly) and people retrieve them for you, you laugh and laugh and laugh.

 

• You know a lot of your body parts.  You will point to your nose, ears, hair and toes, wiggle your fingers, stick out your tongue and squint your eyes on demand. 
• It was noted recently that you constantly are carrying a spoon or fork around.  You are always prepared and ready to eat. 
• You really do eat constantly (this last month).  I feel like I feed you a nice big breakfast and by the time I clean up the kitchen, you're asking for more food!  (That is not an exaggeration.)
• You are OBSESSED with drinking my coffee!  You are always reaching for it, saying "mmm!!"  You don't even know what it tastes like, but you THINK it's going to be amazing.  Just recently, you've discovered that you can stick a spoon in and lick it off much quicker than picking the cup up to drink, because mommy can't react quite as quickly to you dipping your spoon.
• You remind me so much of "Porky" from Little Rascals.  Your personality and even your looks sometimes remind me of him.  Mommy loves this because growing up, I always thought Porky was the cutest kid and I wanted a son just like him!

New Words:

• "Now" - No.  You started saying this last month, but not very frequently.  Now you say it all the time.  "Zeek, do you want to go Night-night?" "No!" ... "Zeek, did you just go potty?"  "NO!"  It's the funniest thing, because you say it like "now" and sound a bit southern.  I love to ask you randomly if you want to go to bed, because I just love to hear you say no. :)

• "Spatula" - You're favorite toy.  You always want to sit up on the counter in the morning and watch when I make you eggs.  You then always either grab your own spatula or ask for the one I'm using. 

• "Up" - Currently, you say "up" for either up or down.  We are working on you learning "down". :)

•  "ow" - You love to say ow.  Even when things aren't ow.  Or if you get an owie, you poke it over and over again so you can tell me "ow".

•  You try saying a lot of other words, I just never know what they are (and can't remember them all right now).  You have a very big vocabulary - but a lot of words or unrecognizable so far... But you talk constantly!

Animal Noises:

Pretty much, you can do every animal that we can make a noise for... 
You've got them mastered!  Animals are your favorite thing ever and we read any book that has animals in it about 12 times in a row before you tire of it and get a new book.  (Mommy is usually tired of reading it after the 3rd time!  There are definitely a few books that I'm about to hide for a little while. :))
 

"Oooh oh ohhhh!" - rooster
"Bock bock bock" - duck/chick

 "raawwr" - bear (or lion, or any big cat)
 "ssssss" - snake
"baaahhhh"- goat
"bibbi bibbi" - frog


Favorite pictures from this month:
 

TOOTH!

You look like such a little boy in this picture!

Always laughing!

And my "Porky"!  (This picture reminded me of Porky immediately!):

 "Porky" from Little Rascals

Memory Keeper Calendar

Some of you might remember this little project I made for my sister-in-law for Christmas:

I threw it up on my Wood & Thimble Shop website when I first opened, so I'd have a few products on there at least, and was in the process of making one for myself and revamping the monthly separator cards... but with the insane amount of map arts that sold, I never got to finish it.

And then...

I sold one last week.

And I had a minor panic, since I never had finished mine and updated with pictures of what the one's I was going to sell would actually look like.

I emailed the lady and told her she was going to be my guinea pig since this was going to be my first calendar prototype!  And you know what she told me?  She said, "I trust you, can't wait to see whatever you do!"  I get so amazed with the people that purchase from my shop!  I can't tell you how many times people have told me that they think I'm "super talented" and they trust my judgement on whatever I want to do for their project!  So.totally.flattering.  I'm not sure what basis they have for thinking I'm super talented, just based on my shop, but I love their complete faith in me. :)

SO.... I did what I had envisioned but hadn't yet created...

And came up with this:

 I made mini file folders for the monthly separators and cut out the month on the file tab.

I'm pretty happy that I finally had someone purchase it and give me the push to finish this project!  Now I've got to make those month dividers for myself and finish my personal calendar that has been sitting for a few months. :)

I love the little berry boxes that these sit in and love being able to save the little daily memories from each day.  Next year will be much more exciting to go through. :)

You can see these in my shop here.

15 Weeks

15 Weeks

 So, I decided that since my last appointment with my midwives was on a Friday, and we only roughly know when I'm due, I'm going to go ahead and count Friday's as my day that I turn the next week along.  Sounds all scientifically sound and stuff, huh? :)

This would put me at 15 weeks (and up to 17 weeks)!

Which means that even at the lesser of the two options, I'm definitely past the first trimester hump!  Glory hallelujah!

I can feel the difference.

Nausea:

When you've been nauseous for so long, you almost forget what "normal" feels like and that there IS a normal!  And it's amazing.  My nausea is almost totally gone.  I'd say 98%.  I still can't stomach the idea of seafood.  I think because Skyler may have made 10 too many bowls of clam chowder during the first trimester and all I can think of is how that made me feel every time it was on the stove.  Gag.  

I am finally getting my normal Paleo diet back which means hopefully I'll stop gaining weight as rapidly as I did in the first trimester because those carbs are getting kicked again!  (Mostly.) 

This is what I had for lunch yesterday:

Butternut squash, greens, Skyler's home-canned tuna (AMAZING!), cashews and cranberries.

This is pretty much my favorite lunch time meal.

It tastes incredible (trust me), it is good for you and it's super easy to assemble.

Sleep: 

Sleep is going much better too (for now).  Haven't had any more early wake up calls (unless you call 8 am early...which I do! ;))  Otherwise sleeping well, and not only so - because I'm past that 1st trimester, I'm not fighting the urge to nap all day (since I can't anyway with my nap-less child).  I feel MUCH better.  I also am able to stay awake later at night again (like 11-12 instead of 9:30 or 10) so I can have some "me" time again... so expect some more posts on this recently quiet blog now! ;)

Feeling:

  Myself, I'm feeling great.  My house is clean again (YAY!) and staying that way!  I'm making meals again!  I took, oh about a 3 month break from pretty much cooking any dinners... Poor Skyler.  A couple weeks ago, out of no where, he goes, "you know, I miss your cooking.  I can make the same thing, but it just doesn't taste as good as when you do it."  Glad my husband loves my meals so much. :)  Tuesday this week was when I finally felt a difference of how I was feeling.  I got up, conquered my entire house, plus did all the extra things that you do during spring cleaning, and had a lovely cooked meal prepared when he got home from work.  

He walked in the door and I greeted him with a smile and said, "you've got your wife back!" 

On another note of "feeling", I *think* I've felt the baby move a couple times!!

Just very very light and quick flutterings.

I've heard you feel it sooner the second time because you know what it feels like.

I didn't feel Zeek until I was right at 20 weeks.

My stomach has already felt hard at one point too, which was so weird feeling so early on!

Size:

Well, you be the judge between this 15 week pic and the 13 week pic! haha!

I feel about the same, but think I'm a little bigger.  (A little higher up belly than 13 weeks)

I did go out and buy 3 more maxi skirts (and am still looking for more in other colors!  I have 2 black, 1 grey and 1 light brown... I'd like some actual colored ones but can't seem to find them!) and pretty much I try to wear them almost every day.  Because they.are.amazing.

For instance, usually within 3 minutes of being home, I'm changed into my sweatpants (not just when I'm pregnant, every day!).  I will wear my maxi skirt ALL day and not change till I am ready to go to bed at midnight.  I feel like I get to lounge in sweats all day but actually look kind of cute and fancy while doing it! ;)

Anyway, excited about being in that second trimester and feeling great again with lots of energy! YAH!  Well, it's Saturday morning and Zeek has just stirred, so I better go make breakfast and get a start on my day...

Because, watch out world!  I'm about to come conquer you! ;)

Love, 

K

Beginning to understand men. Maybe.

Some of you might remember me telling you that I was reading through and leading a small Bible study group on the book "So Long, Insecurity: you've been a bad friend" by Beth Moore.  I wrote about insecurity as a woman before, which you can read here. 

The chapter that we read this week was about men and their insecurities.  Why would a book about women's insecurities have an entire chapter devoted to men and their insecurites?  Because they have them too.  And it's important for us women to remember that.

During my Bible study, the girls agreed that they didn't really think guys struggled with insecurity, because as a female, we often relate insecurity with looks and they didn't think most men cared much about how they look.  Some men deal with insecurity in that regard, but it often looks differently too: money, status, leadership, providing. 

As I read through the chapter, seeing the men account over and over again about their insecurity about failing to provide for their family, I had a huge wave of guilt rush over me and my mind immediately went to the argument that Skyler and I had gotten into the week before about the paintball business.

He knows and I know that I'm certainly extra hormonal and emotional right now and shouldn't be having any serious discussions for the entire pregnancy (seriously.) but obviously that's not likely to happen.  And as it would be, I was all hormonal the other week.  Whiny.  And complain-y.  Our argument started off with me whining about how much time he spent on the computer and on the phone doing business related correspondence and research.  Which led to a discussion.  And then a full on crying, upset (me) argument.  I complained and whined and told him I hated running the paintball business.  That I hated how much of our lives it took up.  That I hated how summers don't really exist for us any more.  That I wondered how awesome our lives would be without this stupid time-consuming business. 

It got ugly (me).  I was having a full out 26-year-old temper tantrum.  I told him he needed to quit the paintball business and get a normal job.  And I'm terribly ashamed to say this wasn't the first discussion that we've had that went like this.  Even before I was pregnant. 

When I read this chapter of the book, I felt even more ashamed of myself.  The number one thing that the men said over and over again was that they were insecure about failing.  Failing to provide.  Failing to take care of.  Failing to be good leaders.  They said they needed the affirmation from their wives that they were providing well and were appreciated for their work. 

And what did I do?  I whined.  I complained.  I didn't appreciate.  I didn't say "thank you for spending hours working for us".  I didn't affirm him.  I tore him down.  I fed the insecurity of not making the right decision in providing.  I, in more words than necessary, told him that his way of providing was stupid and he should just find a "normal" job instead. 

I've said it before and I'll say it again: this book has opened my eyes in so many ways.  Even just to understand men in my life a little better: my husband, my father, my brother, my friends, and some day, my son. 

I guess I write this for a couple reasons... 1.) As a confession and to share my real life struggles.  2.) To hopefully encourage you to be more aware that men struggle with insecurity too, and our words can tear them down or build them up. 

I am thankful to have read this chapter in "So Long, Insecurity" and to be made more aware of what insecurity looks like for a man (my husband, especially).  I pray that next time I'm tempted to complain about the business, about his way of providing for our family, that I think twice about my words and do my best to encourage and support his way of providing, rather than tear him down and fuel the insecurity.

Maybe go find your husband, give him a hug, and tell him you appreciate his hard work in providing for your family.... He just might need to hear it.  :)

Love, K

Because we needed rest.

It happened and it's over and I'm so glad to have it under our belts!!!

"It" being the fact that our paintball business (West Coast Paintball Series) just became an affiliate of one of the large national paintball leagues, called PSP, so we are now a regional league that feeds into this national league.  This became official only a few weeks ago, which means we had just a couple weeks to learn their new processes and requirements of us and how to run a PSP tournament, before our event this past Saturday!  It was so much to learn and understand; thankfully we managed to pull it off on Saturday with only one small bump.  

This is a pretty cool and exciting thing for us, since it simplifies a lot of our current processes (once we really learn and get a handle on their system) and makes things a lot easier for us.  Pretty exciting considering it has seemed up till now, everything we did behind scenes and on game day just seemed to continually get more detailed, more intricate and more complex.

ANYWAY.  That is why I was pretty quiet the last couple weeks.  

Stuck on the computer learning a new system. :)

We also got a really cool new personalized tent, which is probably only super exciting to the registration team (me)...

But look, isn't it pretty?!

It's twice as big as our last registration tent and the sides fold down half way to allow for airflow if you want it!  (And on this 90 some degree day, we wanted it!)

After that extremely exhausting day, we spent Sunday doing our usual family relaxation day after an event.

We had to head north to Portland to drop off some stuff from the event, so we decided to make a day of it up there.  We took Zeek to OMSI again (which we try to stop in there almost every time we're up in Portland since it's free for Gilbert House members). 

Just a few photo's from there:

Skyler says I need to sew a chipmunk costume like this for Zeek to have. :)

Then we went to a little Ethiopian restaurant in North Portland that Skyler took me to when we first started dating and have wanted to go back to since.  It's called Queen of Sheba and is awesome!!  I had never had Ethiopian food before going there 4 years ago and have only had it once more since.  (Which is totally sad, because it's my favorite food ever...but Ethiopian restaurants are hard to come by in these parts!)

Side story: A few months after we first went to this restaurant when we were dating, I decided to make a whole elaborate Ethiopian meal for Skyler!  I spent 3 days making the meal... between letting the dough ferment for the injera bread, making the berbere paste and making their special butter sauce, it was quite the prep work before making the actual meal.  It turned out surprisingly well for how intricate it was!  Now I need some friends to tell me they want to try some, so I can have an Ethiopian dinner party and make it again!!  Too much work for just 2 people to enjoy. :) 

Skyler with the food:

It was a nice relaxing day - just what we needed.  Then we headed home and went to bed early - we were pooped! :)

On an entirely different note... I'm headed to get a (long over due) haircut in an hour and I don't know what I want!! But I know I want it different, and I want an actual hair cut not just a trim like I've had for the last 8 years of my life... The last time I had a "hair cut" was my senior year of high school, and I ended up hating it...so I've been a little timid to do so again.

But I'm feeling bold today. :)

Wish me luck in deciding!

Love,

K

Unplugged Day at the Lake

We had an "unplugged" weekend.

No phones or computers.

Saturday was spent at garage sales, napping and church.

Sunday (which is more like our Saturday's, since we don't have church on Sunday's) we decided to take Zeek to the lake!  We went out to Foster Lake out just past Sweet Home, which is where I spent many of my childhood days!  They have a swimming hole/beach area, which my brother and sister and I always referred to as "Pebble Beach".  

My dad and mom joined us out there for a picnic, playing in the water and just relaxing on pebble beach.

Picnicking in the shade by the boat docks.

Playing ball with Grandpa!

Zeeky liked his little boat float.  It had leg holes for his feet to go through.

He wanted to sit right next to me on my float though and hold on to my hand the whole time.

So precious. :) 

Playing with bubbles with Grandpa

Bubbles are SO funny!

Trying to catch them!

Practicing blowing bubbles.

This "unplugged" day at the lake was just what we needed before a long and busy week (this week) before another paintball tournament this Saturday.  

Wanting (and needing) more days like this. :)

What do you and your family do to relax in the summer?

13 Weeks

We had our 2nd appointment at our birth center, Bella Vie, last week at 13 weeks pregnant.

The first appointment, I was only 7 weeks along, not far enough along then to be able to hear the heartbeat.

We had the awesome pleasure of getting to hear our baby's heart beat this appointment!

There is absolutely nothing like getting to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time.

It's such an awesome confirmation that yes, you are sick and emotional for a REASON! :)

There's LIFE in there.

So amazing.

I am already way behind all my "record-keeping" that I did when I was pregnant with Zeek, and haven't even taken any belly pictures until last week!

So here are some stats for this pregnancy so far:

Pre-Pregnancy weight: 124

13 weeks weight: 132 

Nausea: So much more this time than last pregnancy.  With Zeek, I was nauseous from about 8 am - 8 pm, but if I kept my belly full, I generally felt ok.  This time, I am just constantly nauseous and the thought of food makes me feel even worse.  Last week, it took me over 5 hours to find something I could eat, after lots of sampling of everything in my fridge.  I've thrown up on two different occasions so far, but almost threw up another dozen times.

Food:  I haven't had any cravings (but I never had any with Zeek either), but I definitely have aversions!  NO MEAT! Yuck.  I can stomach FEW green veggies.  Kale chips and broccoli mostly.  Sometimes spinach on a salad.  I've been eating carbs like never before.  Bagels, grilled cheese sandwiches and cereal.  Not usually in my diet.  But it's about the only thing I can stomach right now.

Size: I already can barely fit in my regular clothes, and some I can't wear already.  I definitely notice the whole "you show faster with your second" thing!  Wow.  I felt like I was showing at 9 weeks!  I definitely had more of a bulge.  Now I have a noticeable bump and I am already having to do the hair-tie trick to keep my pants buttoned.  I recently bought a maxi skirt and it's the most amazing thing ever.  I think I'm going to go out and buy 6 more in different colors so I can live in these skirts.  For reals.  

Sleep: I've been tired, for sure.  But unable to sleep.  So much different with being pregnant with a toddler, than being pregnant with your first.  You can't nap as you please.  Especially when your toddler only takes 45 minute naps per day.  Instead of my usual 1 am bed time (to get some "me" time at the end of the day), I am wiped by 10 pm.  Lately, I've had some early 4 am wake up calls.

You wake up to go pee.  Then after you're awake about 10 minutes, you're starving.  You go get something to eat, and by that time, you're brain is awake and there's no going back to bed... 

Here is a belly pic finally (Britney!)... these photo's were snapped at our appointment at Bella Vie last week...

Some pics of Skyler picking cherries and Zeek playing at Bella Vie:

 

I'm going to try to get better about taking more weekly pics... I was terrible with it last time though, so this time probably won't be any easier!!  Especially since I don't really know my official due date...

Oh yeah, about that.  So I'm between 13-15 weeks along (because of weird cycles prior to pregnancy).  We won't really know... My midwife Desirae (my other midwife is Lenore.  Two new ones this time!) thinks I feel further along than 13, but based on the "math", she thinks I'm about 13 weeks... So, I have a very loose due date of Jan 11th.  Yup, 16 days before Zeek's 2nd birthday...

This shall be a busy winter season. :)

Also, my weight! Yikes!  Last pregnancy I only gained 25 lbs total, so as soon as my nausea goes away, I need to make sure to kick the carbs again and get back fully to our Paleo eating lifestyle.